I lay on my bed, my mind troubled by what I had just heard. Time and again, I have heard the same old sad story. There had not been a time I heard it that I was not left a sad person. If I had the choice, like many others think too, I would have changed the circumstance of my birth. I would not have come to a Nigerian family. How good would it have been to come through the White House or 10 Downing Street, or best of all, through Buckingham palace as a prince?

Nevertheless God knows best when He made me come this way. The story had changed today . Though we are not yet where I want us to be, I know we are not where we were some years ago, we have improved. The old story is fast becoming a thing of the past, only to be remembered and not felt.

   My life today is not a result of what anybody did for me, but of God’s faithfulness through the various disturbing incidents of my formative years. As I lay in my bed on that fateful night, still worried about what I just heard the thought of God’s faithfulness came to my mind.

Yes, at various times, I have had people I trust failing me, yet God has not. I have a God who cares for me, and wants me to become someone great in life. An heavenly father who is concerned about all his children, and treat us all as if He exists only for us, the God I can call My God, My father. The one who causes all things to work together for my good, no matter what happens.  Romans chapter 8 verse 28 ‘God… makes all things work for good to them that love Him and are called according to His purpose.’

   Countless millions in our world grew up and are still growing up without the love of a parent or both parents. Many are born into families that do not want them. Not a few have irresponsible mothers; the vast majority of people have selfish and unloving fathers.

Our prisons are filled with people who are criminals due to the upbringing they received from their careless parents. Sometimes ago, the local television in my city showed the horrific picture of a baby killed by its own mother.
As at the time of re-writing this book, I have been in England for nine months (gone to Nigeria for some time in-between). I have noticed that this country as good as it looks, has a culture of high teen-age pregnancy, drug use and immorality.
This has led to countless illegitimate babies who grow up to become hooligans and thugs. They steal, kill and destroy, as if they are possessed by the devil himself. It is my prayer that this country that brought the Gospel and modern-day civilisation to my country will be restored back to godliness.

   The society is as corrupt as it is today, because, satan has eaten deep into the fabric of families. You cannot encourage divorce and pre-marital sex and not expect to have hooligans in the society.
This idea of giving out condoms to schoolchildren is sending the wrong message to them, and they are living out this wrong message. A child is supposed to be catered for by two married parents who fear God. That is the way God designed it to be.
As long as Europe continues to push God out of its countries, evil will continue to prevail, starting from the families. I am not a Roman Catholic, but I think the late Pope John Paul II was right to hold on to Christ’s teachings about premarital and extramarital sex. There is chaos in our families because we have pushed the Bible out, and let satan in, and satan is not taking it easy at all. He is like Oliver Twist who wants more.

Because Adam, Eve, We, … I sinned!

The first institution that God established was marriage. The union of two matured Male and Female under the law of the land, backed by God’s law, for the purpose of companionship, pleasure and procreation.
In establishing marriage, God was establishing the family. He told Adam and Eve to reproduce, and gave them the sexual drive and reproductive organs to do so. He intended that sex be carried out only with one’s married spouse.  God created the Human family to inhabit, enjoy, and exercise Godly control over the earth.

According to the Bible, Adam, his wife-Eve and his offspring (which we are), did just the opposite of God’s original intention by obeying satan. Due to this, instead of having united families, we have broken homes, children not catered for, and youngsters with psychological dysfunction.  Satan, the evil one succeeded in influencing Adam and Eve the first parents to sin, and it is a pity that seventy percent of parents are following in their footsteps.
There is cause nonetheless to thank God for Jesus, who has come to restore things to their God intended positions. But for Him, many of us would be permanent victims of the Adam’s mistakes.

Are you in it?

Dear reader, you may have grown up in an atmosphere where you are not loved, you are not the only one in this situation. There are millions like you, and some are free men and women today. Take heart, God is with you. Have you made mistakes? So have I, you are not alone. Go through this poem I wrote for you and I, for us.

God cares
When no one is with you
When all forsake and leave
When for hope, you have hopelessness

Take heart dear, God understands.
He knows exactly what the problem is.
And He pleasures in this one thing,
Bringing glory out of stories.

A time was when Jephtah was rejected,
Expelled from the clan and made an outcast;
just because his mother was a prostitute.

Vain men he called and made into fine men.
Despair he never allowed, hope he embraced
And the day came, when the rejected
Became the judge of Israel.

God cares about you

Unlike many parents, God is true to His word, He does not abuse His spouse, neither does he reject or abuse His children. He does not have extra marital relationships. He sticks to His family. He is not sexually perverse; he is not a Homosexual. (He loves gays, but does not support their being gay. He made no man gay, people chose to be gay, it is not in their DNA. Science has not been able to prove beyond all reasonable doubts, that some people have their DNA programmed to be gay.

God cares for the well being of His children; He sees the good in them and encourages them to bring it out. He lifts us up from the dust and sits us with princes. Psalms 113:3, 8, 1st Samuel 2:8. He raised our big brother Jesus from the grave.
If you are dead he can raise you up. He can heal your wounded heart; he healed mine and is still manifesting His work of healing. He helped many people get over emotional problems, and is willing to help you. God understands what you are going through, and will not leave you in your problems.
            ‘For He will not suffer His Holy one (you) to see (any form of) corruption (of spirit, soul and body) Psalms 16:10 (Emphasis added).

Joseph and David were there too

There are lots of people in the Bible who grew up without proper parental upbringing. Ishmael was sent out of his father’s house alongside his mother, Joseph grew up in the midst of siblings who hated him, Jabez was called a child of sorrow by his own mother. David’s father possibly did not regard him as a proper child, if not he would have been summoned alongside the other sons of Jesse, when Samuel requested for them.

Despite their upbringing, these men became great men of repute and prominence. Nevertheless, a careful study of their life shows that they all did some thing in common, which you too must do, in order to ride over your circumstance. They had all at some time cried to God about their circumstance.
Genesis 21:17 ‘then God heard the boy’s cries…’ further down in verse 18, God told Ishmael’s mother that ‘for I would make a great nation from his (descendants).

The response God gave in verse 18 was a result of the ‘boy’s cries’ in verse 17. 1st chronicles 4:9, 10 contain the story of Jabez.
Genesis chapter 37 through to 50 contains the comprehensive account of Joseph’s life, a story of sorrow, betrayal, and eventually of joy. God’s purpose is for your life to be a comedy, and not a tragedy.

A good life is found only in God. He can restore your lost childhood; He has the power to turn things right for your good. With God, nothing is impossible; your future is secured with Him. He can bring your parent’s love back to you, if that is what you want. He can, and He will, only if you would cry out to Him in faith like Ishmael and Jabez.

Live a holy and faithful life like Joseph. Respect his word and give Him the highest adoration like David did. God can change your destiny from minus to a geometric plus. He can make all blessings abound to you, only if you would trust and obey Him.

Leave the past, and build the future

Stop passing blames and start trusting God. Stop wishing that things had not happened the way they did, and prayerfully start working out God’s future for your life. For example, if you were raised in an orphanage, make up your mind that your kids would not be.

Walk in love towards those who hate you, and deprive you of your rights. Forgive you those who have offended you, but do not walk in the ways of those who caused you your misery. Commit your life into God’s hands, and walk as the Holy Spirit through the Bible directs you.

If you find yourself exhibiting negative genetic characteristics, which you know had not helped previous generations in your family. Please deal with it in prayer and seek Christian help. An example of this is a trait of anger, which is common in certain families. I have observed that each family seems to have its own weak point, please deal with yours in prayer. Else, it might destroy not only your future, but your children’s as well.

In this world of broken promises, God still keeps his word. There still exists in this evil world, an intact family, a caring family that seeks the good of its members, one that will not break or be separated, the family of God.

Oyinlade Itunu-Abitogun