Some examples of stressful situations:
1.You traveled happily to the US two years ago, leaving your spouse or fiance(e) behind in Nigeria. You expect the separation will not be more than 1 year or so. After a couple of fruitless attempts to secure him/her a visa at the embassy, the task seems almost impossible to complete. You pray, hope and believe that somehow a miracle will happen and you will be together. Meanwhile, you both seem to be growing apart. There are many good-looking people at work, at church, and even on the bus or subway. One person (at work) has such a wonderful personality, and it’s an open secret that the person is attracted to you. If only…..

2.The office situation is terrible. If you did not need money to pay your bills, you would like to confront these people and show them how “we” handle things in the village. Money is missing, and your supervisor and the assistant manager just implied you “know” something about it. As evidence, they confront you with envelopes that have clearly been doctored by them, with handwriting that is not yours, but your co-worker’s, who incidentally, is also their ‘favorite’ around the office. They urge you to confess. You fume, knowing that if they were not so determined to rope you, they would have thought about it a little and noticed that you were not even at work the time the money went missing- it was your day off. The more you think about it, the more hurt and wronged you feel, and …that’s it: this is the last straw…….you ERUPT

3.You were involved in a car accident two days to the New Year. So you’ve been using a spare car, which is very cranky and sounds like it will give up any minute now, but you have no choice, since you’re trying to raise money to buy a new one. A couple of Sundays later, on your way from church ( after a rather aggravating service: you didn’t really like the guest speaker), the car breaks down in the middle of the highway, and you have to be towed home. Your neighborhood being what it is, everyone comes out to stare, and you know you will be the topic at the next get-together, and the phones in the various houses will be buzzing the rest of the evening, with the latest news. A very embarrassing situation, guaranteed to raise your stress level.

4.You struggle to pay your bills each month, but they keep piling up, and you are at your wits’ end. A full ninety-eight percent of your salary goes to bill payment, and the money you earn seems to be feeding a many-headed monster. As soon as you cut off one head, it grows two more in replacement. The people at home are not helping either- all you hear from them is how financially stressed they are; “we need money so badly…” is the refrain you always hear, in response to your phone call to say hello. As you check your email hoping to read some reassuring words of comfort from home, you see another missile containing a desperate SOS from your cousin who is in dire straits. Oh, Lord, you groan inwardly. Can’t these people understand?

5.Your friend, who you totally like, seems to gossip and badmouth you behind your back. You have no solid proof, but you notice that anything you tell her seems to come back at you from unexpected sources. In addition, other friends ( who also interact with this person) are avoiding you as if you had a dreaded disease. You feel all of this is coming from your so-called ‘friend’, but you have no proof. The more you think about it, the more depressed you feel.

Stress is present everywhere people are found and where they interact with each other: the workplace, at home [in the family], at places of worship or recreation - just about anywhere human beings are found. In many countries of the third world, especially Africa, people respond to stress mainly in traditional ways. They consult native doctors or spiritual leaders with the belief that this will “eliminate” the stress, which has most likely been caused by an “enemy” using either visible or invisible forces to attack them. Stress-related illness is thus attacked in like manner.

In developed countries such as the USA or Europe, people spend huge amounts of money undergoing therapy or seeing psychologists in order to handle stress. Does either of these approaches -the traditional or the modern- cure stress? The results may be ambiguous, depending more on the attitude, character or mental state of the patient, than on any other factor. Often the person’s state of mind is traced back to a family member or sibling’s actions or attitude while growing up (the blame game). In more extreme cases, an individual may be referred to a psychiatrist and/or a mental hospital due to his/her bizarre reactions to what is perceived as stress.

Handling stress in today’s world could be very costly, depending on the methods employed to handle it. For people accessing traditional doctors, the consultation may involve a token fee as well as some mystical and esoteric arrangements which have the effect of reassuring the seeker that everything will be okay. The sheer bizarreness of the remedy definitely must mean that the problem will be solved, right, For example, being told to sacrifice a white porcupine, leave delicious food at a three-corner junction, and so on, must definitely appease the spirits, since it is incomprehensible to the human mind what connections there are between the problem and the remedy. Maybe, if humans cannot understand, the spirits will, and there lies the solution, they assume.

At the other end of the globe, the psychologist’s office has very comfortable chairs and décor. Going for therapy is a very pleasant experience. It’s the one place where an individual can lay back and talk about his/her worries and stress to someone who cares enough (or is being paid ) to listen. The psychologist/therapist rarely condemns- there is much (money) at stake here. His /her solution is often simple; identify the source of your problems and change your attitude towards yourself .This will result in your being more accepting of the world around you, as well as the people in it. If you love yourself more, you will get along better with others. It’s mainly in the mindset.

For people who handle stress with these approaches, the methods they choose can be grouped into two categories:
1.Appease the spirits
2.Appease yourself

There are some other methods used to handle stress, such as yoga, food, partying, orgies: the list goes on and on. Most fall into one of the two categories mentioned above.
These are the ways people rely on to handle stress.

The Christian approach to stress can be summed up by the verse found in Phil 1:2. “Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ”.
Stress can never be completely eliminated from our daily lives. This is a universal fact. The physical approach of appeasing the spirits versus appeasing yourself, while meaning well (at least for the seeker), ignores the word of God. It is true that the world we live in has a spiritual element as well as a material one, and often, we need to come to terms with our past in order to adapt to the present, but the fact remains that God is the best stress-reliever and Christ has laid out principles for us to apply to our lives. Let me clarify this:
Ways to relieve Stress
1. Prayer. The verse states “Grace… and peace from God…and Christ”. Sometimes, the best way to handle stress is to let it all go. Just release it to God in prayer. Understand that the ability to handle difficult situations that see, calculated to send you to the nuthouse, can only be found if God gives you grace .The solution is from outside ( from God, not from within, in this instance). The prayer found here is repeated in most of Paul’s letters in the New Testament. Personally, I feel this underscores the importance of knowing that sometimes, it is just not in our ability to handle stress, but we need grace from God to assist us during times of stress. Also, peace, to stay calm and think straight at such moments. In examples two and five, where issues arise in the office and with friends and family around you, it may take the grace of God to get over the hurt and not lash out at your environment. It will also take the peace of God for you to keep calm and think of what to do; to act sensibly and not be perceived as being “too sensitive”, for example, in the office.

2. Have a hobby. Sometimes, having a good hobby may be what stands between a person and the mental hospital. For many people in the third world, hobbies may simply consist of raising children, going to church or going to the farm. Real recreation is rare. At the other extreme is the developed world, which spends billions on recreation, including tourism. There are many affordable hobbies, and some which also improve your interaction in the workplace. For example, playing golf is a great way to relieve stress. Helping out at a homeless shelter or volunteering also works. If you just want to be alone, there are activities such as painting, minor carpentry (woodwork), skating, dancing, music, reading, biking, mountain climbing, cooking, and so on- the list is endless. Activity takes your mind off problems, and provides a breather and a way to escape negative thoughts.

3. I would not recommend seeing a native doctor or spiritualist to deal with visible and invisible enemies, nor encourage you to spend two full hours each and every day with a therapist for the next twenty years; however, sometimes just talking about stressful situations may provide relief from the mental tension. Therapists are helpful in their own way, but sometimes maybe you just need a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on. If you have a friend or partner who you can trust, share with him/her/them. It might just help. Of course, if the friend is the one in example five who relays everything you tell her, you had better avoid, not share. Use your discretion. In instances where you have absolutely no friends at all (yes, it is possible), and still a lot of stress, then receive God’s grace. Prayer is a solution- talk to God and mention the issue in prayer.

4. The Bible does not discredit medical knowledge. Some issues may be beyond human capabilities, and you may need to see a licensed physician. Do not be discouraged- let it go. God sees all, and will surely make a way through the wilderness when all seems bleak. Sometimes a problem may have been passed down from generations, and may lie in the genes. There is little human knowledge can do in such instances. Only God can take control. But do not hesitate to seek medical attention when necessary. And more than anything else, remember God forgives, and He will not judge you for the sins of generations past, when you are hidden in Christ. Do not be discouraged.
Handling stress can be challenging and time consuming. Entire religions, markets and ways of life have been built around the need to cope with stress in today’s world. There are as many methods as there are religions, probably, but all in all, our creator has a better understanding of stress and it’s remedy, than we can with our sensory knowledge of our world and what it contains.

Feyi Arimoro is an English Arts graduate of the Obafemi Awolowo University, Nigeria. She lives in Glastonbury, Connecticut, USA with her husband Dr Seun Arimoro. Her interest includes taking care of Faith and Femi, her kids, reading and writing.You can contact her through E-mail.