I failed! So did Barack Obama, Abraham Lincoln and Will Smith. Depending on your background, you might define failure differently from the way I do, but at its basics, failure is simply not hitting the target. An F instead of an A, B or C score, a report that did not meet up to the company’s standard, not successful in an interview, relationship breakdown, not winning an election... the list goes on and on. Nobody wants to fail, and if there is anything I fear; it is failure. That said though, let me also add, that all of us, including ME will fail at one thing or another in life. But failure does not have to be final for you.  Many people know Will Smith, but few know that before he became the actor we love today, he started as a rap artist and ... failed!

It has been said that all men fail, the difference between those who eventually become successful and those who do not is that the latter chose to remain on the ground. Life is not fair, (I still find it hard to accept that though) but you have to make the most of it. I grew up expecting the best of the world and of myself, a devout conservative Catholic Boy who later joined a Holiness Pentecostal Movement, what could go wrong? Nothing until... I failed my O level exam, carried over a major course in school, could not win the heart of the girl I had a crush on, was refused visa severally, and experienced a personal conflict that led to a broken relationship.
Oh the pains of failure, never do I want to experience it again, never. I have a feeling that your failure stories though not exactly like, are quite similar to mine, and that like me, you really do not want to continue with this string of failures. You want an end to come to them.

A FAILURE PROOF LIFE.
No one except God can promise a failure free life, and even at that, God will not offer you a failure free life, for failing is one of the things we need to experience in order to be our best in life. Ouch, that hurts, isn’t it? Pain hurts, a broken heart hurts, but when rightly managed and channelled, the hurt of pain can produce lifelong sweetness.  Obama failed to win a Congressional election; he later commissioned a survey of his chances of winning a Senate seat. Armed with the information from the survey, he contested to be a Senator of the United States won and went on to become Commander In Chief. If he had not lost the earlier election, do you think he would have commissioned a research into his future chances of a place at Capitol Hill?
History resounds with the story of people who because of one thing or the other did not reach their target, yet went on and reached it after trying some more. Not many people hit the goal at the first attempt, so don’t think you are alone. As a matter of fact, only a few make a hit at the second attempt. Many of us torso the tape at the third, fourth and subsequent attempts. What matters at the end of the day is that we have succeeded. 
Mary Pickford said;
If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down.
I love the last part of the sentence, what we call l failure is not the falling down but the staying down.

GOD'S FAILURE.
Let me ruffle your feathers a little bit, the biggest failure in history would have been God if He had stayed down after the fall of man. Adam was created as God’s masterpiece, but shortly after this, God’s stunning success exercised his God-given ability of freewill and rebelled against God. No offences meant, but Adam’s fall spelt one thing for God, F-A-I-L-U-R-E.  God’s goal of humans made in His image to worship him had been jeopardised by the very man He invested His life into, I could hear the devil singing with his best soprano, FAILURE, FAILURE, I TOLD YOU SO. 

GOD’S THRONE VACANT!, Council in an emergency meeting! We can confirm that early this morning, Yahweh tendered His resignation letter to the Supreme Council as a result of the failure of the Adam experiment. No, that is not how the story ended. Immediately after the fall God set in motion (having pre-seen it) the process of redeeming man from satan’s hold. What the serpent meant for evil against God later became the devil’s own eternal doom. Failure pays all a visit. No one, not even the Chief dweller of heaven is immune to its call. Each time I sin, failure visits God, but again and again, he has been banished from heaven’s gate in disappointment because of what God in Christ has given me- eternal salvation.

LESSONS IN FAILURE
For several reasons, mistakenly or willingly, we will do things in life that fall below people’s expectations of us, and they will express their disappointment and disgust. At times like these, we have two options, learn and move on, or stay in the pit. I cannot say it enough that all men make mistakes, but many have gone on from there to rebuild their lives and lead productive lives.

If like the rest of us you have made some mistakes, my advice to you today is to move on. God is not surprised when you fail, He knew you would fail and he had made provision for you to rise again. If you continue listening to what people say about you, you will not move far, because by nature, humanity- and that includes you, does not easily forgive and forget. I stopped casting aspersions at people when I started noticing in me the same tendencies I crucify them for. The right thing to do after a fall is to move on my friend.

Have you failed in any venture in life and want to get up and move on, and then here are some things to remember.

1. FAILURES DON’T JUST HAPPEN, THERE ARE REASONS FOR THEM. Identify these reasons and find ways to rise above them.  Thomas Edison was noted saying each that failure in his light bulb experiment was not a failure,  he only leant ways not to make a light bulb. What do you think are the reasons for your last mistake, what can you do to avoid them in future? I failed my main module back at the Polytechnic because I did not pay enough attention to my studies. The next time I went back to school afterwards, I gave my studies my best. Like I was asked during my homiletics presentation in Seminary, what did you do that you should not have done and what should you do that you did not do? In short, how can you improve yourself? Please learn from your mistakes in order to avoid repeating them.
   
   
2. LEARN FROM YOUR FAILURE: Harness your failure in the right direction, learn from it. He is a fool who does not learn anything from his fall. As mentioned earlier, we all fall – with different magnitudes- yes, but the fact remains that we all fall. And the good news is that we can all learn from these mistakes. I can tell you of Preachers who went on to do great feats for the cause of their God after recovery from a major fall. They simply learnt what did not work and avoided it. Your failure is not final, until you say so and give up. Many of us throw our hands into the air too soon; some even see no point in living and then commit suicide. Failure can be painful, I agree, having been there severally, but it can be turned around and the lessons learnt used as a jumping board for greater heights. Do things differently and avoid the holes you fell into. You cannot do things the same way and expect a different result, let your mistakes teach you what not to do.
   
   
3. SEE HOPE: One of my best essays is on the subject of hope, but I must confess I have not totally grasped the wealth of this wonderful gift from God. The Bible says Hope does not make us ashamed. Many at times after a fall or failure we do not see any hope. It’s like the doors to people’s hearts are shut and the gates to heaven have followed suit. All hope has become lost. I look back with thanksgiving today at the time in my life when I felt like jumping onto an oncoming vehicle- because I did not see any hope for myself.  However, you need hope in order to be able to rise up again and move towards your goal. ‘Should I hope in nothing?’ You might ask, ‘for there is no point hoping in vain when nothing is going to come out of it’. ‘I am 37 and divorced, what hope is there for an old maid like me, when there are beautiful professionals in their early twenties out there?’ I cannot answer all your questions, but I have learnt from the Bible and from history that there is no hopeless situation with God and the determined person who believes. Hitting the goal again might be more difficult after a mistake, but if you persist, you can hit it. The key word is perseverance.
   
   You need to hope and persevere as you take the necessary step to your goal. Dust your books and read again, do not give up on relationships and marriage, seek for balanced counsel, know your options and try again. In the words of Tina, my friend you have only learnt what will not work. Now persevere to try what works. Do not let anything stop you from achieving your goal in life. If there is a goal, then there is a way.
   
   
4. TRY AGAIN. It is okay to walk away, but not before you have explored all available options. If you believe in you dreams, then please try again. Learn from your mistakes, have hope, put on your work boot and start working again. Whitney Houston bounced back, so can you. Had he not died, Michael Jackson would have made millions again, years after he was tried for child molestation charges. What did MJ and Whitney do, they let go of the hold of the past and tried again. Nothing will happen until you start to work. Don’t let your emotions tie you down, shake yourself and try again. There is hope for a tree that it will spring again at the taste of water said the Bible. You can do it, believe in yourself and work!
   

Do whatever you need to do in order to push towards your goal. If necessary, change your association and make new positive friends, relocate, retrain, act!  With your experience, it is expected that you should do things differently and of course better. Rise up from the floor and act, contest again Abraham; you can win the election, walk again Martin; civil liberties can be achieved, Mahatma; don’t give up- push, for India will once again be free. You might not be as popular again, you might stagger and shake, and you might even get it wrong, but keep at it. Look defeat in the face and spit on it, never give up. You are a winner, you don’t quit. Try again Sarah, Isaac is coming.

What would have been my spot of fatality has been for some time the spot from where I cross to catch my train home. One of my right fingers still bear the scar of a Machete wound I sustained in high school years ago, I still cringe when I think of what I could have done differently on a matter that means a lot to me. I am human, the past still flashes here and there, but I don’t have to live in it. Like my sin, it has been cast on to the past and to God. I look forward to a new start now and a new life.

STEPS TO RECOVERY
Scarred but not fatally wounded, once in despair, but now living each day as it comes with faith in God, once without hope but now hopeful and taking steps in faith. This should be your story; it is where you need to be. The world might not forgive you or believe any more in you but what they think does not matter as long as you do these three things

1. SETTLE WITH GOD: When we fail, we disappoint two categories of people: those who hold us dear and ourselves. God holds you dear and accountable and when you fail, you might feel you have let Him down. I have good news for you though, He understands, oh yes he does. Does He not see what others do not see? He knows of your inner struggles and of your cry for help. In your failure, make Him your number one point of call, ask for His forgiveness if necessary and ask for grace from Him. Settle with Him and you will have peace of mind.
   
   
2. SHOW OTHERS THAT YOU ARE SORRY: If your action has hurt another person, please try as much as possible to settle with them. Ask for forgiveness where needed and make amends if you can. Be truly sorry and express it, if they will not listen to you, don’t force yourself on them. You might want to speak with an intermediary they respect who will convey your message. When people are hurt, it sometimes can take time to heal, understand that and be wise in your dealings, but let your attitude be that you are really sorry and mean it.
   
   
3. FORGIVE YOURSELF: It does not matter if you have settled with God, all the angels and heaven, been to all the jails in America and tried severally to succeed to make amends for your wrongs. If you do not forgive yourself, every other thing you have done are futile. I thought I was the holiest until I could not help myself and began to make mistakes, now I know God is the Holies and the rest of us should look unto Him holiness. Expect much from yourself, but remember that you are still human, give allowance for mistakes and forgive yourself readily when you fall. Some of us wrongly think we can impress God or people by being hard on ourselves at mistakes. You need to forgive yourself in order to experience peace of mind. Not letting go of the hatred you feel for yourself will severely affect your health.  Think of the discomfort you will experience and the trouble you will cause others if you get down with: stress, blood pressure related conditions, persistent tummy upset, ulcers, stroke and the list goes on. You have only one life to live so to say, so live it in peace of mind. You have missed the mark, God has excused you, others will follow suit with time, do not hold yourself captive. Accept God’s love today and move on. You will lose friends, but do not lose your inner peace; the Bible calls it the Umpire that will guide your heart.

Joseph Oladipo has authored six books, including Securing Tomorrow Today- how to have a good life. Aside being an Author, He is also a singer, songwriter and recording Artiste. He holds a qualification in Theology and resides in the United Kingdom.